Book Review: Untamed, by Glennon Doyle
What choices would you make if you were truly free? If you weren’t caged by pressures of society, family, friends?
In the early days of the pandemic, back in March 2020, I noticed buzz for a new-to-me author, Glennon Doyle, and her latest release, Untamed. Brene Brown, Dax Shepard and other podcast mainstays interviewed her for hours. I saw post after post about her new book on social media. Another entry in the “self-help” canon, I thought. The next “you go, girl” handbook. What does SHE know that can help ME?
It turns out a great deal.
In short, Untamed blew me away. Glennon not only gives you a front-row seat on how she upended her life to live an authentic one, she asks the reader to think about their lives and their choices. Through short, thoughtful essays, she offers observation and invites reflection. Early on, she asks: “What kind of life/relationship/family/world might I have created if I’d been braver?”
This was the exact prompt I didn’t know I needed. It asks us to dream big, but it is the foundation to shifting feelings of fear and the ever-looming “should” to feelings of freedom. She shows us that we are the ones with the power to release the pressure valve of life.
I often say books find you when you need them. I’ve had books sit in my bookcase for years, only to pick them up at just the right time. Blame it on quarantine, wild politics or serendipitous timing, but Glennon’s words hit fast and hard; I realized it was going to live up to the hype by the prologue.
Glennon writes about “Knowing” - our instinct, our gut, what we know in our bones to be true. Our lives are noisy and busy and full of messages that take us away from our Knowing. The volume of our inner voice turned down so low we can barely hear it, if we hear it at all. When our Knowing is dim, we make choices for others, not our selves. She writes: “We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely form the world’s expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves.”
Yes, Glennon, that is exactly what we need. We have faced the expectations of the “good girl” for too long. We are inundated with examples of what she looks like, how she acts, how she responds. In this landscape, how can women embrace our imperfect, rich, meandering, and unique lives? Untamed reminds us, time and time again, the answer is to tap back into our Knowing.
She’s also clear about something that books by White authors lack: racism. In one of her lengthier chapters, “Racists,” she addresses White Privilege and the need for us to face and name racism. She reminds White women that we will make mistakes when we show up and tell the truth about racism, but as members of the human race, it is our duty. “The worst thing,” she warns, “is privately hiding her racism to stay safe, liked, and comfortable while others suffer and die.”
Glennon’s observations are encouraging, invigorating, and reassuring. Many of them may be familiar, but through her point of view, she gets to the true heart of the matter. She lays out her most vulnerable moments to lead by example, and in doing so, she shows us how we can ALL live Untamed.