What 2020 Taught Me - Laura Parrish

It's funny, I remember this specific moment on New Years Eve of 2019 – I was standing in the middle of Union Street in New Bedford watching fireworks with friends. I was wearing these very apropos earrings that I bought for the occasion – they featured eyes made out of small beads strung together (shout out to Jeffrey from Calico who made me buy them). As I was standing in the road, I thought to myself, "2020 will bring a new vision to my life." I repeated that phrase over and over again to myself. I knew somewhere deep in my heart that 2020 was going to bring big changes; I just had no idea what that entailed.

When Kate asked me to contribute to her blog about what I've learned this past year, it took me a while to put my thoughts together – mainly because I had too many thoughts to share. Not only did the pandemic up-end my [and everyone on the planet's] life, but my personal life brought some major surprises, and with that, some major life-changing lessons. It was important for me to share things that may help someone else, and also as a way of giving myself perspective on how different and wonderful my life is today. When I think about the most essential life lessons I've gathered this past year, they aren't net-new learnings, but more things that magnified and brought real purpose to my sense of self. So here they are:

Act with grace. We are not in control of everything that happens to us. Thus, the only thing you can control is yourself – this is widely known, I'm not making any Earth shattering discoveries here, I know! Coming from someone who is pretty gosh darn Type A, learning how to be okay without having control is really difficult. It's not an easy process, but I have found the one thing that's helped me is to always act with grace. Yes, things are going to happen that will make you upset. Yes, there are going to be moments where you don't have all the answers and you feel uncertain or lost. But if you are true to yourself and you come from a place of dignity, integrity and grace, you will always, and I mean always, feel good and find peace.

To be open is to be brave. It can be really easy to close yourself off, a lot of the time you might do so to protect yourself, in fear of being judged, or of being wrong or embarrassed. Being honest with where you're at (good or bad) is hard! This past year, I learned the importance of letting go, taking a breath and opening up. And when I did, what I got in return was incredible – I received care and respect from strangers, I connected with wonderful people that I may not have had the chance to otherwise, and I grew in ways I didn't know I was capable of. Once I found the strength and confidence to be open, my life began to blossom and change before my eyes.

Follow your gut. Especially this past year, I found myself following my inner compass time and time again. Life is noisy no matter what you are dealing with, and it can be hard to focus. Not only that, but when things are uncertain it can be hard to make decisions on where to go or what path to take. When this happened to me, I took a minute to listen to what my inner-voice was telling me – it made it easier to see truth and find happiness.

Simplicity is the key to happiness. I think everyone can agree that on some level, even with allllll that's happened, life has become a little more simple compared to last year. Pre-pandemic my day was filled with 2,495,539 things to do, places to go and meetings to attend. No day was discernible from the other in terms of workload and being "busy" was a bragging right. This past year, I learned how to slow down and put the limelight on life's simple pleasures. Cooking at home, reading a book on the couch, listening to records with my boyfriend, connecting with friends old and new, enjoying the sunlight. I learned how to be truly grateful for the things I have rather than chasing an empty energy tank.

You never know. Seriously. If you asked me last March what my life would look like today, there is no way in a million years I would have guessed any of it. When I stood on Union Street on NYE 2019, I wished for that "new vision" and man oh man did I get it! And the most crazy part is that I am deliriously happy (I honestly feel a little guilty admitting that)!! I end with this very important life lesson because to me it summarizes everything I've learned over the past 12 months. I did my best to act with grace, I opened myself up to people and possibilities, I followed my inner compass, and I focused on simple joys. What that has brought me is a life that feels so deeply wonderful – it makes me look towards the future with great excitement because you never know what's around the corner.